You can't grit your teeth without something to grit about so who gives a shit if it hurts for the first week or two. That's two weeks of pain in a process that will benefit him for his entire life. You're all pretty stupid. While he's at it why don't you make him squat Just man up brah.
He'll be fine for 6 month. Plus, he's fucking-five, his metabolism is at its peak. I found that weight lifting is an infinitely superior way of losing fat while gaining muscles, though. I am 25, 5'9 and currently weigh lbs. You may not want to hear it but this was me 2 years ago.
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You're fat as fuck. Start losing weight and it'll do more wonders than you can imagine. Once you get momentum going with weight loss everything else will follow in a domino effect. The only thing stopping you is you. That's what I'm hoping for, but, as you can obviously tell from this post, I have doubts. I was extremely depressed and often suicidal before I lost weight. I never felt that way about 5 months after I started lifting weights.
Not all of that is from what it did to my body, however, since I probably didn't have a ton of visible progress at that stage; it's probably more to do with having less estrogen and more testosterone associated with weightlifting and fat loss. Still it's always awesome being able to look in the mirror and say even on my bad days that I look so much better than I did two years ago. Don't compare yourself to other people; there's always going to be someone who's better looking than you or smarter than you or more talented than you.
The important thing is you make the best with what you're born with. If you're dealt a shit hand, are you still playing it better than anyone else would? Having doubts in this case means you're not believing in yourself as much as you should. If you really want to change or you want to accept yourself you will. Time isn't holding you back; you can make time.
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Same thing with dietary restrictions, financial stress, etc. The only thing holding you back is you. Also, I saw in your post history just by coincidence your question about "What's the point in living if you're not attractive? I think you need to look at a starting place though that if you're asking that question you're basically saying that being above average on a cosmetic scale is the only thing that matters in life, and if you aren't born that way there's nothing to live for.
You're overlooking practically all the rest of your body and mind for how your face looks. That's very good, but how have things changed externally? I find that people always measure these things in terms if they feel better or what it did for their world view, but I'm more interested in how much your life changed looking from the outside in.
Are you able to pick up hot chicks consistently? Have you used your more positive self image to get ahead in career or educational goals? The whole point of this thread is that there are external goals that I want to reach and I am afraid of not reaching them.
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Living up to my potential is optional in a sense. What frightens, discourages and is unacceptable to me is the standard of living I have in mind being unattainable no matter what because I am not good enough whether it be not being good looking enough, not having a high enough IQ, not having the charm or charisma to lead and attract women etc. I see what you saying, but the point I make in my last paragraph is still relevant.
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I can be holding myself back to due to doubts and not believing myself or it could be that even if I get rid of those things and put the work in, I am not good enough due to some innate deficiency. That question simply goes back to the overall thing I'm talking about; Not being good enough in a way that can't be changed. As far as I can tell, if I want to be consistently getting girls that are, let's say, 9 on a scale of in looks I'm going to have to be a 9 as well. In this way, and others which I don't think I'd have to enumerate, what my upper limit is in looks all together does matter tremendously.
If even this singular thing is off, my ability to live the life I want can be made completely unattainable. So it's not that I solely care about looks above all else, it's that, like my user name implies, my mentality is all or nothing. I am working on improving myself, but there will come a point, I'm sure, where I have pretty much improved myself as much as is reasonably possible and if that's not good enough, then I'll know I simply wasn't endowed with what it takes and I'd either have to settle or kill myself. I'm going to attempt to answer the rest of your questions by responding to this.
The central thing you've been saying is that you're scared. You're a perfectionist, and if you can't be the best then you don't see the point of proceeding. In thinking that way, though, you're sacrificing your own autonomy to try exterminate the autonomy of people with whom you associate and to ultimately try to mold them to your will. You're enslaving yourself to social ideals in the hopes that those will make you happy, but you know that you can't actually achieve happiness that way.
Most intelligent people hit a nihilistic phase like the one you're in, but everyone escapes it differently.
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One of my closest friends did it by deciding he wanted to live for his family. Another said life is defined by experiences, and your purpose should therefore be constructing its meaning by doing tons of new things. I did it by realizing that there's a saturation point in life where you'll maximize happiness and personal achievements for the amount of work you put into your life, and knowing that I'm at that level is good enough for me.
My question is though how desirable are these girls?
The most important skill is discipline. You do something for a long time, even when you don't want to, and you will become good at it. You are scared of being ugly? Get a good haircut. You are scared of being lonely? Go and fucking talk to people. Tomorrow, go to anywhere with several shops and talk to the first person you see who isn't on the phone or rushing somewhere.
Eventually you will be very social. You are scared of being a loser? What is winning to you? Whatever it is, go and practice it until you can do it. But it's what you need to do to sort your shit. If you don't think you are at a good point in your life, fix it by doing stuff, even when you don't want to. Most importantly, keep a record. Look back on yourself every now and then. What the fuck man? You have to want to live!
You have to want it and your potential should be what makes you happy. I want you to write out exactly what it is you want. Don't say I want a relationship, I want women. Of course you want that it's in your nature. Why do you want that? Do you think having a woman will fix your self-esteem? Will it improve the way you feel about your looks? A woman won't fix what is broken inside you, only you can fix it. I think you should see a therapist for a little bit. Someone to help you set your goals straight, and to help you work on your self esteem. No, looks for a man are not as important as you may feel.
Men have multiple ways to increase their SMV. You could be interesting, funny, intelligent, whatever else we preach here. Fear holds us back man, it kills us slowly. You have to tackle your fears and believe that anything I envision for myself is possible. If you believe you will be ugly, lonely and a loser you will be, believe you aren't and you aren't. It looks like your 60 pounds of cinnabon is the least of your concerns. Grow a fucking spine, maybe mix in some personality? I hope you were able to see something positive in what has been said by others: I think what I wrote is very relevant to what this subreddit claims to be about.
Seems like people here are just intolerant of certain ways of expressing things. As for seeing something positive, most of the comments have not addressed the specific issue I am writing about so it's hard to gain much. All they seem to see is "He's complaining and needs to act to improve" rather than looking at what I specifically wrote. I took a look through your post history, and you're obviously desperate to change things, which is great. But you don't take a very pragmatic view to the problem, probably because you have fallen into the trap of thinking you're the centre of the universe.
I've been there, and fixed it by finding opportunities to do good things for other people. The more you interact with others, the less likely you are to end up focusing so much on yourself and perceived failures. I feel like I am stating the issues I am having logically without undue emotional exposition.
Wouldn't anyone talking about their problems in this level of detail come off self centered? How else can I describe the details of what I'm going through without talking about me? And as for the pragmatic thing, I outlined how I am trying to improve myself in very concrete ways in this post.
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Why does that not count? You may see it as logical, but it isn't. That's one of the difficulties with things like depression and anxiety; you convince yourself that certain things are facts, when objectively they are not. You said there are objective things that make what I'm saying illogical and whiny. I am asking you to point them out. If they are there they should be simple to point out. Unless you just don't want to point them out and are rationalizing it by saying I wouldn't be able to get it because I'm too depressed.
When your face is neck deep in titties, that's when you do yourself a favor and self induce therapy. Get some tits in your mouth. Cuz talking to a woman won't work. Talk to her tits instead. In a world of mediocrity, I've learnt that a all it takes is passion and effort to excel, and b most people are too lazy to rise above the mediocrity.
Yes, the RedPill is about self-improvement and improving your strike rate with women, but you're asking for advice from a load of guys who have a completely different mindset to you, and clearly you're not in a position to take their advice. You can lift all the weights in the world, but if you consistently talk about your fears of inadequacy and your inability to get women, you are displaying all the wrong traits in your quest to be an attractive alpha male.
Women dont want to hear men talking about how terrified they are by social acceptance. Stop worrying about impressing women and start using them for your own entertainment. Very quickly you will build confidence and coupled with your new beach body - its a numbers game. The more you speak to, the higher chance you have of securing a date or a number. Now, I dont have any real experience of depression, but I imagine you will be talking about your social problems with your therapist. I won't try and therapise, but try something new.
Try and go a day without self-deprecating and then another day. Punish yourself with 20 pushups when you fuck up. You are able to trick your brain many ways into developing a new mindset. This is what the Redpill is all about. Didn't read it all, just checked if you lift. Do it, and your life will start changing like you wouldn't even expect. There is something magical about lifting, just fucking start doing it.
I need to upgrade my reading skills then: D How long you've been lifting? I have started lifting consistently for about a month. I am working on losing weight omore than gaining muscle mass. I have lost a few pounds, but obviously I need more time to get noticable results. But this neurochemistry can backfire when we bond with the wrong guy. D, of the Buehler Institute for sex therapy in Irvine, Calif. Should You Stay or Go? These steps can get you thinking — honestly — about the state of your union.
Ask yourself these questions, Sugrue says: Do I really care about this person or has the relationship become habit? Is it easier to stay than make the effort to leave? Do I feel like he really cares for me? Or am I doing all the heavy lifting? Works with Christmas gifts and relationships. And talk it over with your guy. Not all these dudes will pony up to ride into the sunset with you. Absence can make the heart grow fonder Either way, you get some perspective, Buehler says. Hold off on hooking up. Casual, no-strings-attached sex definitely has its place.
Do a reality check. If you worry that ditching an unsatisfying relationship will leave you alone forever or possibly even destitute, take a deep breath and step back from the ledge. What about those friends and family who love you? Then you can start thinking about what your new movie will look like, Mackler says. Perhaps the screen will show that you can be happy without a relationship. Or that the next guy you date will appreciate and respect you.
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