He tries to shrug it off. If you're in sales you can't have a fear of rejection, you know? You ask enough stay-at-home moms if they want to have a play date, and maybe one or two out of 10 will says 'Yeah, let's do it. Researchers who study stay-at-home parents say that difficulty in making social connections seems to be one of the biggest obstacles dads face. In many parts of the country there are so few men doing this that they have a tough time finding each other.
Reaching out to nearby moms isn't always an option; stay-at-home moms often feel more comfortable hanging out with other women.
And some working fathers frown on other men socializing with their wives when they're away. His wife, Nicole, who has a high-pressure job with a large defense contractor near Washington, D. My schedule is very erratic and unpredictable.
Knowing that there is always someone covering the homefront allows her to be very flexible in her work hours, she says. After their first child was born, the Sanders both continued to work full time. Ben was on the road Monday through Thursday, and the couple hired a pair of nannies, who worked in shifts to help bridge the gaps.
But he says that pace was too hectic for the family; Ben and Nicole finally decided one of them needed to stay home full-time. So that's what we did. And there's no looking back.
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In his own research, Harrington has found that more than half of male millennials say they would consider being a stay-at-home dad if their spouse earned enough to support them. Yet he's found a disconnect, he says, between what people say they might do and what actually happens. And corporate culture, he says, particularly at large, established companies, can still discourage fathers from taking years off to be home with their kids. Both good and bad. Even though it is what we both wanted, it comes with its share of challenges.
Jen notes that she is aware of the warning advice for breadwinning wives that the switch-up can lead to the path of divorce.
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For some reason, it all just worked for us. It just worked and our marriage is good. Meanwhile, Mark and his wife are secure enough in their marriage and feel completely comfortable poking fun at themselves. He relates the story of when a fellow non-traditional couple came over for brunch one weekend. Money is a factor. I was nervous when my son was born.
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I felt so much anxiety that I would often find an excuse like tending to dinner or walking the dog, all so I could avoid having to hold him. It wasn't because I was distant emotionally or didn't feel love for him; it was because I was unsure of myself. All I thought about, and all I think about to this day, is keeping him safe. Like many dads before me, I wasn't confident that he would be safe in my arms, no matter how much I loved him. Thankfully, that lack of parental confidence faded, replaced with an almost insatiable feeling of wanting to be close to him.
The first few months require an adjustment for men.
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We don't have the biological bond, the nutritional components and some would argue the emotional prerequisites to make our children feel like they need us. I would jokingly refer to myself as The Janitor, a random figure my son would see in the background sweeping the floor, periodically looking up, shrugging and then continuing to sweep the floor. My partner, Michelle, would probably laugh at that, seeing as I have to be reminded to sweep anything, but the greater point is that I felt pretty useless at the beginning.
Eventually my uselessness faded away and I became a fun loving daddy, helping Caspar to take his first steps, to mimic sounds and to not body slam the cat. Being a competent dad was not just good for Caspar, it was a requirement for us as Michelle was wrapping up maternity leave.
I'm a writer, which automatically makes Michelle the breadwinner of the household.
Hell, she could be in retail and still be the breadwinner. Fortunately for our family, Michelle is a researcher and near the top of her field. After a year of maternity leave it was time for her to go back to work, and for me to assume the role of stay-at-home dad.