Not too cold to wear my sleeveless empire wedding dress.
I was 14 weeks pregnant. We knew Poppy was a girl and she already had her name. You loved the nickname. I remember sitting at the kitchen counter with your laptop when we opened the email revealing her gender. We opted to find out. We were so excited. We were having a girl. The first girl grandbaby on your side of the family. You were a prince during our pregnancy. You massaged my feet. You made me tea. You drew the bath. You told me I was beautiful and I felt beautiful. We took those silly weekly pictures in front of the living room wall.
I wore the same outfit. A tie-dyed tube top and pink booty shorts. I flexed my muscles and made you take pictures of my butt so I could see if I was getting too fat. You made me feel sexy. You kissed my belly every day and touched me tenderly. You went to every prenatal appointment. You held my hand at our week ultrasound when the midwife was concerned about my fundal height.
But Poppy was just fine. All her measurements checked out. Her sweet face cozied up to the umbilical cord. She had hair already. You panicked the night I went into labor, and as you paced back and forth in the kitchen I had to tell you to calm down. It made me laugh. Your face fell into your hands. I was sitting on the hospital bed and you were on a nearby couch. I could feel the life being sucked out of you and then it was sucked out of me, just like it had been sucked out of our baby girl.
You were a warrior those next 36 hours we were in the hospital. Our world was crashing down and still we were falling in love. You stroked my hair gently and whispered reassuring encouragement as the midwife told me I could push. You were focused on me. Our baby was about to be born, still. How can we ever explain to another human the simultaneous horror and joy of bring a dead child into the world? All our hard work, our love, our efforts, our expectations, ruined and yet fulfilled. We had a child together and she was perfect. You held her so sweetly. You took off your shirt so you could have her skin-to-skin.
I want to say she was pretty.agrosafarik.cz/includes/map2.php
Our Love Story, Sweet Love Poem
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